To The Single Girl On Mother’s Day

Dear Single Girl,

I see you—working, giving, serving, loving, doing your best to navigate the minefields of life. I’m glad you’re choosing to keep pursuing the life you’ve been given, even when your dreams of having a family of your own has shriveled up and what you hoped to be hasn’t happened yet. You are a beautiful soul, with a beautiful life…but I recognize, it doesn’t mean it is an easy life. Even in the midst of hard days, Single Girl, I hope you know that you are seen. Your struggle to figure out where you fit in among social statuses and peers who have moved on isn’t forgotten. Your dreams matter, my friend, even when they lie dormant in the shadows of your heart.

Women were created to bring forth life, and I know how painfully incomplete you can feel of your God-given design as a Single Girl on Mother’s Day.

I recognize how your soul aches and feels alone when you watch others celebrate this season that you want most, silently crying because there will be no crayon-drawing cards done by little hands for you. On the other hand, I feel how your heart shatters into a million pieces when you hear people criticize and complain about the children they’ve been given, when you’d give anything to have a family of your own. I see that for the Single Girl on Mother’s Day, it can feel like a mockery where you’re reminded once again of what you don’t have, or how you don’t truly fit in with all your married-mother friends.

Yet here’s the truth, Single Girl—to be a mother is to be a nurturer and a life-giver…and that is in every woman’s DNA, regardless if you have children of your own.

The truth is, Single Girl, that you are a mother in your heart and soul—and it is not hidden to the world. Every child you love, every sticky face you kiss…they may not be children of your body, but they are children of your heart. You play a crucial role in raising them up, and your time with them is etching memories across the span of their childhood.

This Mother’s Day, you don’t have to hide in the background—you can stand tall and without shame, even when there are no floral bouquets or handprint mementos coming your way.

You can be proud that you have a hand, Single Girl, in rocking multitudes of cradles, transversing many homes, of those who will one day rule the world. Your influence goes beyond generations, imprinting little minds and hearts with love. You may not hear appreciation often enough. Your singleness may be taken advantage of by assumptions of free babysitting. You may feel alone and without purpose, drifting in the seas of longing and feeling like you are less-than because you don’t have a family of your own. But Single Girl, I see you. I see the mother in you, and I will speak it loud and clear:

I recognize the mother in you as you take care of nieces and nephews.

I applaud the mother in you as you read stories to your friend’s children.

I celebrate the mother in you as you play games with the neighbor kids down the street.

I acknowledge the mother in you as you rock to sleep the babies you nanny for.

Single Girl, this Mother’s Day, I hope you know how important and special you are. You are more than a single status—you are a woman, with wells of precious emotions, dreams that are daring to be explored, and bravery as you step into broken places to bring God’s love and healing where it is needed most. You play a crucial role in this world, and your input and influence is needed. Don’t stop, friend. Don’t give up. You have precious jewels of dozens of little arms around your neck, spanning homes and cultures, loving you with gratitude.

Happy Mother’s Day, Single Girl. We applaud you today, too.

3 Ways to Help Stay Sane in a Global Pandemic

Whether or not we saw it coming, it only took a matter of days for our worlds to be turned upside down and shaken out. One day you have a job…the next day, you’re struggling to get unemployment. One day you’re eating lunch together with friends at school…the next day, you’re isolated at home. One day you’re hugging your grandparents…the next day, you’re waving at them through the window.

It’s not easy to go through change, darkness, and difficult situations when you have to face it alone.

We turn to social media to artificially fill the void we have for community and connection, but a lot of times all we get are people screaming their personal vendettas and seductive conspiracy theories. It leaves our hearts heavier than before, breeds fear in our soul, and drains the hope from our veins.

Here’s the secret they don’t want you to know: Your mind is the battleground. How you think is how you’ll act. In the war for sanity in an unstable world, here are 3 ways to help you get ahead of the curve:

I. Feed Faith, Not Fear

Be relentless—you wouldn’t eat poisonous junk food, so don’t fill your mind with it either. If you are following accounts on social media that are stirring up anxiety within your heart by the propaganda or attitudes they portray, it’s okay to unfollow them. If the news is stressing you out, turn it off; ask a friend or family member to tell you if there’s anything important that you need to know instead. Instead of frantically searching for some sort of meaningful connection to the world, take a pause and ground yourself in Scripture. Read God’s promises to you, and let Him bring peace to your soul. Feed your faith, starve your fears.

II. Don’t “Let It Goooo”

Let go of the fears, yes, but now is not the time to let yourself go. Create a schedule for your day, even if you’re stuck at home. Get up at a reasonable time, spend time journaling and in prayer. Drink your water, take your vitamins, stretch and strengthen your body. Take a shower, put on your makeup, style your hair. Are there days when lounging in pajamas is okay? Yes! But every day? No! If you still want to be productive during this time, you have to be the one to take care of yourself. Dress for success, friends…even if no one else will see you.

III. Create Meaningful Connection

Although social media can give us a glimpse into others’ lives, simply scrolling through the posts won’t give you the connection you crave. You have to be intentional and creative in cultivating true connection. If you are on social media, don’t just scroll—take an action, like leaving an encouraging comment, sharing a post that encouraged you with someone else, or letting someone know how much their platform has inspired you. Be sure to take your connection beyond the feed, too—write a letter, send a BrightBox, give groceries/tea/cookies via online grocery shopping. Set up a virtual video coffee date with friends, or send a text message to check in with how your loved ones are doing. Make a list of ideas, so when you’re feeling down, you can have action steps to reach out to others. Spreading sunshine to someone else is what will brighten your own day, too.

Together, we’ll get through this. Just because we’re isolated, doesn’t mean we’re doing this alone. Yeshua has given us abundant life…and that hasn’t changed. We just have to be intentional and creative to live within that promise these days.

Top 5 Tips for a Meaningful Bible Study

You sit down with your coffee, Bible, and journal in hand. The glow of the sun is just starting to spread its golden hue across the dark sky, waking up the dawn. It’s a new day, filled with fresh mercy and unlimited possibilities. You want to give these precious first moments of the morning to the Lord, so you take a deep breath, open your Bible…and sigh in discouragement.

Randomly flipping open to Ezekiel isn’t always the most encouraging or uplifting way to start the day.

Does this sound like your Bible time? Do you often feel dry and discouraged, without direction? You know you should spend time in Scripture—and you try to!—but do you wish you had more of a meaningful connection?

You’re not alone, friend. Today, I’m sharing my top 5 tips for having a meaningful personal Bible study. I hope this encourages and inspires you to persevere by being intentional with how you read Scripture!

1. Use a Commentary, Concordance, and Dictionary

Is there a specific word in a particular verse that is stumping you, or that stands out? Look up the definition, and see where else it is used in Scripture. Find a commentary and read others’ and insights on that passage. Look into the history and context surrounding the verse to give you perspective on what else is going on or being addressed. Become a Bible detective, never giving up until you crack the code!

2. Highlight and Write in the Margins

This can be controversial—some people don’t believe you should write in a Bible. However, this is what connects me the most to my Bible study. If you don’t want to permanently mark your Bible, use erasable colored pencils (like I do!). I highlight/underline a verse in colored pencil, and then write in the margin next to it why this particular verse is important to me. Sometimes I’ll even type up commentary that really spoke to me and tape it next to a passage with washi tape. By doing this, I can look back in my Bible and connect to what God was speaking to me in particular seasons.

3. Study with a Friend

Accountability changes everything. If you’re struggling with spending consistent time in Scripture, ask a friend to be your accountability partner. Study a specific book of the Bible together, going chapter by chapter, and share what you find.

4. Pray and Seek God’s Heart Throughout the Pages

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal new things as you read the Bible. Instead of just reading to cross it off your spiritual to-do list, look for ways God is revealing His heart on the pages—what He cares about, and who He cares about.

5. Write Down What Applies to Your Situation

Keep a journal and write down verses that apply to whatever situation you are facing in this season. I once kept a journal where, as I read my Bible, I wrote down every promise God spoke (you will be astonished at His faithfulness!), every prayer someone prayed (which will greatly inspire your own prayer life!), and every passage that talked about how I should live as a daughter of God (which will challenge how you live every day!).

5 Keys to Your 2020 Goals

January 1st comes with a huge surge of anticipation, goal-setting, and strategic planning. People announce that they’ll be going to the gym every day for the rest of the year, that they’ll read x amount of books every month, or that they’ll travel to exotic places. They make plans for promotions with high energy kicked into gear, and talk about living their “best life now”.

The truth is for most people, come February 1st, all that will be left of that energy is smoke and steam from a locomotive that thought it could, but couldn’t.

It’s said that only 8% of people who set new year resolutions will actually accomplish them. I can attest to that—I used to make new years resolutions, too, and I only accomplished about 25% of what was on my list for three years in a row before I threw in the towel. It was disappointing for most (learn another language, travel more, drink more water) and hilarious for some— I’m still not quite sure why making a historical wardrobe made it on my list when I was 15 (it definitely didn’t happen).

We can make plans and goals all we want to, but ultimately, God plans our steps. (Proverbs 16:9) So what if we stopped making up our own plans, and invited Him to reveal His plans for us?

The key to your goals in 2020 is not creating more rigid schedules, being a boss babe, or striving for the next big thing. Don’t get me wrong—goals are good—but they need to be the right goals for the right reasons. So here’s 5 ways to discovering what those right goals are, and sticking to them:

1. Write a list of all the goals, hopes, and dreams you have for 2020—no matter how big or small.

Now, read over the list and ask God to show you which goals He would have you to pursue this year. Circle the ones you feel Him leading you to, and cross out the rest.

2. Ask God what His heart is for you, for your family, for your friends, and for your community

Write down what He brings to mind. Are your goals consistent with His heart for those around you, and do they communicate more of His love?

3. Read Proverbs 3.

Ask God for wisdom for this year, trusting that He will direct your paths. As you process through this upcoming year, is there anyone in your life you can go to who has Godly wisdom and input? Share with that person what God has been revealing to you, and invite them to speak into your life as well. (Proverbs 15:22)

4. Consider fasting for a certain amount of time, whether from certain foods or social media.

Biblically speaking, fasting signifies repentance, seeking God’s help, vision, breakthrough, and new ministry among other things. Fasting isn’t about getting what you want from God—it’s about getting more of God’s heart and understanding more of what He has.

5. Live with grace.

You don’t have to rush the process, nor do you need to rush your life. Each day will hold new and beautiful things, and plenty of ups and downs. Live in the moment now, not for the moment to come in the future!